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Suffer together… #life #wisdom

Hello Everyone Head Alicorn here and I am going to share the things that been happening lately.

My Father has gone through surgery to place stents in the heart ¬†because some parts where blocked heavily… so far that part was a success but this now opened a can of worms he has to suffer though… something I can feel slightly by looking at him. My father isn’t the best… but it seems other than the 4 kids that are still growing up out of country… I seem to be the only one that will do something. I get angry and irritated with him daily and when he gives me headaches I will act to help him when he needs it. He got back the hospital in horrible shape… his stomach is bloated and he having breathing issues from it, he JUST got medication to help reduce these issues and if they do then a visit to the hospital won’t be to the emergency room. It in fact scares me daily… no jump scare or horror fic can reach me as much as this does… I constantly seek relief in games to get away. I have podcast I should do for not only alicornradio but for my own company site Drakeal network.

Drakeal network has its own can of worms that I been able to manage when I can but with a passing of a good friend on there some members have taken the choice to leave. I understand their decision and have no ill will to anyone that has left. I just got a message from the company that help me setup my LLC for drakeal Network… I have to pay the renewal for the business and other tax stuff I have to submit… the renewal is what going to make things worse for me. I only make about 200-400 USD a year (I checked this is my general income for 2 years… I only survive through my father right now). So I hoping some business happens and places me on edge because I am worried it won’t.

Now this places me in a stress graph that is similar to the Himalayan¬†mountains so I try to break down what I can when I can to keep myself in check and calm when if (only if) something horrible happens and I need to act without worry. The last thing I need is to break down when the going gets tough. I am always prepared for the worst and even my father and I have talked about what I should do if he was to die from medical reasons. My dreams have woke me up in the middle of my sleep to see if my father was still breathing because he dies in my dream. I will suffer but if something worse does happen… I am prepared for it and not surprised if it does. I need to be able to cool myself down and take the steps requested if it goes that way.

When my family I care about suffers… I suffer… It to me shows how much I will invest and time I will waste… as much as it takes.