Undertale (Pacifist): Delta’s adventure esp 1 (Language warning) #undertale #brony #pasifistforthewin
Hello Everyone Head Alicorn here and I am going to share the things that been happening lately.
My Father has gone through surgery to place stents in the heart because some parts where blocked heavily… so far that part was a success but this now opened a can of worms he has to suffer though… something I can feel slightly by looking at him. My father isn’t the best… but it seems other than the 4 kids that are still growing up out of country… I seem to be the only one that will do something. I get angry and irritated with him daily and when he gives me headaches I will act to help him when he needs it. He got back the hospital in horrible shape… his stomach is bloated and he having breathing issues from it, he JUST got medication to help reduce these issues and if they do then a visit to the hospital won’t be to the emergency room. It in fact scares me daily… no jump scare or horror fic can reach me as much as this does… I constantly seek relief in games to get away. I have podcast I should do for not only alicornradio but for my own company site Drakeal network.
Drakeal network has its own can of worms that I been able to manage when I can but with a passing of a good friend on there some members have taken the choice to leave. I understand their decision and have no ill will to anyone that has left. I just got a message from the company that help me setup my LLC for drakeal Network… I have to pay the renewal for the business and other tax stuff I have to submit… the renewal is what going to make things worse for me. I only make about 200-400 USD a year (I checked this is my general income for 2 years… I only survive through my father right now). So I hoping some business happens and places me on edge because I am worried it won’t.
Now this places me in a stress graph that is similar to the Himalayan mountains so I try to break down what I can when I can to keep myself in check and calm when if (only if) something horrible happens and I need to act without worry. The last thing I need is to break down when the going gets tough. I am always prepared for the worst and even my father and I have talked about what I should do if he was to die from medical reasons. My dreams have woke me up in the middle of my sleep to see if my father was still breathing because he dies in my dream. I will suffer but if something worse does happen… I am prepared for it and not surprised if it does. I need to be able to cool myself down and take the steps requested if it goes that way.
When my family I care about suffers… I suffer… It to me shows how much I will invest and time I will waste… as much as it takes.
This seems to come up quite a bit and something that even to this day seems to be quite unclear. These fandoms have been blended for years now and constantly confused with the other for no reason. Generally the call of “group A can also be group B but not all of group A in group B.” Let drive in shall we?
Passing of a person is a sad thing that seems to be disrespected, a life that was torn away from the pressure of sociological structure that crumbles without showing any signs till it’s too late.
A few days ago a person named Daniel of Cyndago took his own life that at first was unsuccessful but ultimately succeeded. We will never know what was going through the mind of this person… Or what caused the tick to make him choose to leave behind a life that was not only successful but filled with friend’s n family that love him. Something that will keep me up at night wondering would could have been done but since I never knew him, I will never find an answer. It made me think of horrible truth of our existence and what we can learn from it.
Over a year ago, another man… If not a great man… that showed us laughter and how to smile. Who made us grow and learn. Who was a genie, a bat and much more… Robin Williams who also took his life… Which we will never know the full reasons why he did it.
Also fellow Bronies that have taken their lives because of the torment others have give them. Its a world we live in, even with friendship, this place isn’t the happy and accepting place we hoped it to be.
Why should people take their life? Why do they suffer and not let others know? Why do they make the final act to end their existence? It’s something that can’t be understood as we don’t know what was going through the minds of those most likely suffering so hard they can’t take it anymore. It’s a sad thing but yet Suicide is something that people take pride for… they get happy when someone throws their life away. Like it some achievement to be had; the horrible person that goes so far to laugh and smile at those that suffer so much and I come to ask people like this (To see people kill themselves in pleasure), “what if you were in their shoes… you give up your life because the pressure too much… just to be made a fool of. If you feel so happy when someone kill themselves then you don’t deserve the kindness of others, success or honor… maybe you should be in their place instead.”
Honestly, they wouldn’t listen and maybe never learn. They will be the problem and will always be labeled as such but if you or someone else you know is considering to kill themselves, They only end to hurt the ones close to them… If its pain or suffering then you should say something and seek help. If you keep the burden hidden… It will ONLY get worse, there is no shame to share your pain in hopes to repair it.
Easy path might seem easy, to give up is a difficult path for others. Though there are voices out there, speaking horrible things, they know nothing who you really are and if you doubt yourself then look to the people that helped you to guide yourself back to align yourself back to standard that no one can take from you. You are loved even though you told otherwise… Hating or being pushed too far isn’t far for those.
Never Listen to the Trolls, Never Sell yourself short, Never let bad things be the focus of your life…. and NEVER think its a good idea to kill yourself because you might be passing up something better.
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